My son moved down to Portland from Bangor about 5 months ago now. He lived with his sister for about 3 months and then finally got an apartment with two people he had never met before. He’s been working at a golf course in Portland as a short order cook and the work has slowed way down so he needed some extra $ to see him through. What he really needs is a second job! We are having some unusually nice weather here in Maine for November. We set a new record yesterday, for the warmest weather on this date in November.
Hubby and I never got a chance to rake the yard and get rid of all those pine needles and leaves, so we invited my son to come out and do it. He was up for it since it meant earning some extra cash….which he has none of! Now my son used to be the kind of kid that tried to get out of doing ANY kind of work. He would do the heavy supervising while leaning on the rake or tree. I was the worst enabling mom at the time. Having gone through a divorce when my kids were 5 and 7, I guess I was filled with guilt. I let them get away with murder and tried to “fix” everything myself, thereby never letting them learn those great lessons in life that they needed to on their own. Heck….I wouldn’t even let them cook for fear that they wouldn’t do it right or they would hurt themselves! They couldn’t leave the driveway on their bikes until they were 20! No…it was more like 12 I guess. I am so trying to change that person that I was back then but man is it hard!
The deal was that my son could go out and work in the yard as long or as short of a time as he wanted to….until dark or just until lunch…if he liked. My husband gave him instructions about the giant tarp in the cellar….the key to the shed…which areas he wanted raked….which little saplings he wanted cut with the clippers and a couple of other chores if he had time. He started at about 10:45 yesterday morning. He came in a couple of times to use the bathroom and get a drink and a bite to eat but kept at it. Hubby went out twice to help with a couple of things, but all said and done, he did not finish until it was dark at 5:00!! I was actually shocked that he lasted that long!! I fully expected the old moaning and groaning, the rolling of the eyes and all those expressions you get from kids when they feel put out to do chores but this was different. This was a grown kid….a 25 year old who was simply digging in because he really needed to earn some money.
I was in the house doing chores and baking a chicken pie, making salads and wrestling with the chaos going on in my head! Am I the only mother that still goes into protective mode when it comes to her grown kids??? I was thinking to myself….Oh this has been a long day for him….oh he must be thirsty….oh he’ll be sore…oh he is going to be hungry….on and on and on. I struggled with all of these thoughts until I realized how I used to be when they were kids. Because I was such an enabler when they were young, it definitely had a lasting effect on them….especially my son. This was my chance, as I saw it, to let him be the man that he is supposed to be. I know that sounds crazy but it’s true. I kept busy….stopped looking out the window…and sailed through it. When he was done, he came in with a grin and a hungry belly and a little sore but it was a good day. We got a beautiful job done in our yard and he got some hard earned money. He got to be a man without mom jumping in to “save” him. It was all good. Now…..if I could just get that Jack Russell of mine to do what I say.:) :)