Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Busy Body Mom?????? No..not me?

My son has moved down here from Bangor to Portland and is living with his sister who is 2 years older than him. It has been 6 years since my son has been this close to home. My daughter, on the other hand has been living in Portland for a while. She is fiercely independent and does not normally want mom’s help unless she asks. I have been helping my son find employment through networking with friends I know, that have business connections, so I have been calling my son a lot. Sometimes his cell does not get good reception, so I have to call my daughter. She’s not used to all this communication with her mom! Actually, truth be told, I call her at least once a week and she calls me back maybe every two weeks or when she feels like it. I guess I have not cut the umbilical cord yet. I miss them both and wish they were more ready and willing to miss me too but I must remember when I was their age, all I wanted was my freedom from my folks. Here they are at Christmas time a couple of years ago.

DSC02423 Surrounded by gifts (of course)….I don’t feel comfortable unless I do that! Carissa decided to put all her bows on her sweater to show how many presents she had opened! Anyway….am I the only mom who feels this way? I just got off the phone with my daughter regarding Easter dinner details and asked if she was coming? My answer was “Mom!…Just because Kyle is living here now, doesn’t mean that we always have to come together now to every event!”……OUCH!! That little *****…..I wasn’t expecting that one! She’s a Gemini and so is he….born 2 years and 12 days apart. She’ll be 27 in June and he will be 25 in May. That split personality really comes through with her! My son…not so much. Oh well….maybe some of you moms feel the way I do? Maybe it is time to back off and let them do their own thing? Who knows. Right now I feel like calling her back and telling her how I really feel!…..maybe not a good idea.eyes1-2 What’s your insight into this? Clueless on the plains….:(

9 comments:

Shelia said...

Oh, Debbie! Kids are something, aren't they? It sounds like your daughter is wanting to be all independent! I won't give advice because it would probably be wrong. I just know I still think of my grown children as little ones - they're 38 and 33 now! Don't stress over it, Dear One, and yes, sometimes it's good to tell your children how you feel!
BE a sweetie,
Shelia;)

Anonymous said...

A long time ago, a wonderful old Italian lady told me that "When your children are little, they break your arms; when they grow up, they break your heart." Sometimes it's in a word, or look ... Sometimes it's because they feel so deeply and love so much, they fear a vulnerability in a world that they must be able to stand on their own.
Truly, you are loved ...
and we love you, too! GeeGee

Dawn said...

That's a tough one Debbie. My oldest is 16 and I'd expect him to direct his younger sister if they lived together. But! They aren't there yet, I might feel different when they are. Good luck.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Cut the cord! Ours are almost 37 and 33..girls..hormones..moods..frustrations. I have learned to keep my big mouth shut..except when asked for an opinion..they ask, and I tell them. Those years in their 20's are a struggle:)

senior Bean said...

Thats the problem with being a mother they always try to be a mother and children are always trying to be adults. Thats my way of looking at it and I make no charge for this hard gained wisdom.

Kathleen said...

Well Debbie, I don't have any children. I remember from age 18-30, I hardly ever wanted to talk to my Mom. By the time I was 40, I was calling her 3-4 times a day. Now that she is gone, I wish I had called even more than that. I wish I could tell your kids that. Thanks for your get well wishes! Hugs, Kathleen

Debbie said...

SHEILA:...Yes they are something sometimes but I love them. You are right..sometimes I think they are still little ones! Thanks.
GEEGEE:...Hello my friend...thank you for your comment and that italian woman is exactly right! I love you!
DAWN:...She has tried directing in many ways...sometimes he needs it but doesn't want it! Sixteen is not a fun time...hope you are one of the lucky ones!:) Thanks.
FSOF:...You are right...the 20's are the pits and I need to keep my mouth shut too. I knew that...practiced it and then forgot it again!! Thanks for the reminder!
SENIORBEAN:...You are right too! Let them be adults and stop treating them like kids!
KATHLEEN:...Oh I can relate to this SO much because I did the EXACT same thing. I miss my folks every single day and I talk to them all the time. I guess nature has to take its course. Thanks for the reminder Kathleen.:)

margaret said...

Not ever having been a mother myself, I can relate to that look on my mothers face at times. I guess you will just have to let nature take its course. The learning process doesn't stop in its teens as we all know. They too will have their days of regret and remembering. It happens to all of us.

Elizabeth said...

Hey! I'm 40 years old and I call my mom several times a week, usually for just a foolish thing or two. Of course, I "escaped" her by moving 1/2 way across the country when I was fresh out of college, so that's how I got my distance when I was younger!

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