Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Wonder Of It All……


  Having a heart attack, has left me with many unsettled feelings. Unsettled?….is that the word I am looking for? What does unsettled mean…..

Main Entry:

Part of Speech:

bothered, upset


active, agitated, antsy*, anxious, busy, changeable, changeful, changing, complex, complicated, confused, disorderly, disturbed, explosive, fidgety, fluid, flustered, inconstant, insecure, kinetic, mobile, mutable, on edge, perilous, perturbed, precarious, rattled, restive, restless, shaken, shaky, shifting, shook up, tense, thrown, ticklish, troubled, unbalanced, uncertain, uneasy, unnerved, unpeaceful, unpredictable, unquiet, unrestful, unstable, unsteady, variable, wavering, wobbling  

Well there you have it….apparently “unsettled” WAS the right word, because I can relate to all of those words, with the exception of tickled maybe? My unsettledness…is that a word?…is really about fear I think. I am out of my element. I am having to do everything a little bit slower and that’s hard for me. The other day, I cleaned my whole house. I took my time doing it. I felt pretty good. Afterwards, I had a feeling that it was probably not a great idea. I guess I was right…..

   I went to see my primary care physician on Friday for the first time since my heart attack on December 26th. I was told that I am doing too much and I need to consider the fact that I had a heart attack and just how serious that is. I was told not to lift anything more than 10 pounds for two weeks. My God, my dog weighs close to 20! Added to that order, was no work for 2 weeks. On January 2nd and the 4th, I had some heart issues, that I shared with the doctor. She was  concerned, so I am now wearing a portable EKG monitor, until Sunday afternoon…..a total of 48 hours. I cannot have a shower for two days!! Yuck! I let them know I was allergic to the EKG buttons I wore in the hospital. Not a problem, says the man that hooked me up with the portable….we have hypoallergenic ones! Oh goody. To make sure I was not allergic to the hypo’s, he put one of them on my arm for 1 minute!!! ONE FREAKING MINUTE!! I told him it was not long enough. The allergy did not kick in at the hospital for at least 24 hours!! Oh no….he says…MOST people will show a reaction within that minute! Yah right. So….as you may have guessed, I am at the 27 hour mark right now and would really like to tear my skin off, where every one of those EKG buttons are touching my skin!! I am going to try and forget about it and see if I can last until 1:00 tomorrow without ripping them off!! Wish me luck.

image Hey…on a happy note, I have not smoked one cigarette in 14 days!! Can you believe it? That’s probably the longest I have ever gone in my life other than when I was pregnant….yay for me!! Whoooohoooo! Pretty soon I will be starting rehab. I think I will be trotting slowly on the treadmill and riding a bike and walking some…..not quite sure though. I am looking forward to that. I am so grateful for so much. People have just been so kind and thoughtful and loving. My husband came home from work the other night with this HUGE fruit basket….well it had tons of fruit, some yellow Gerber daisies, and a lovely card in it. The card was from all the women he works with. They had ALL written something personal to me….get well wishes and prayers… nice. My mother and father in law stopped by with a bunch of soda and a nice roasted chicken breast, that I made a chicken pie out of the next day. Yes, I’m still cooking, I have to do something! I have gotten many get well cards and emails from lots of folks and the phone has finally stopped ringing after 2 weeks! I am a very lucky girl and I finally come to the realization that I am not Wonder Woman….heck…Wonder Woman wasn’t even Wonder Woman was she?? I am not invincible and I have to follow doctor’s orders whether I like it or not….there…I said it….now I just have to do it. In the long run, it will all be ok. Family and friends are always there for me. My husband is telling me to stop trying to go to work with him and just settle for the fact that I will be home for 2 more weeks. Try to enjoy it he says to me!! So…..I guess I will. The guilt is slipping away…’s melting…..melting….melting……………



Eva Gallant said...

Take care of yourself!

Anonymous said...

Great guns of Glory! My much loved daughter-in-law has finally decoded the message we've all been trying to get across to her: "Rest, read, sew, crochet, write, rest and more rest!"
"Debbie,dear heart, you're always on the go, doing for others, working, attending social activities and helping those in need,etc., but never attending to yourself. Now you must take care and TAKE IT EASY!"
Just what the doctor ordered and just what we have wanted for you! Luv ya ... GeeGee

Kathleen said...

It's so hard to rest when you are not used to it. Keep trying, you will get the hang of it. Glad to hear you haven't been smoking. Big gold star and an A+ for you sweet girlfriend. I can see us now, riding on our exercise bikes together, peddling down the road, eating apples and oranges as we go. We will so healthy no one will be able to stand us. Sounds like you are now on the right track. Hugs,and get well wishes, Kathleen

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Dawn said...

Debbie, You need to follow what your doc tells you and believe me hard, hard, hard. I thought I was doing what I was directed to after my c-sections but come to find out, adhesions. Bad girl I was, they told me straight out. Yep, you will be back if you don't listen is what they said this last time and I listened! I also found I have a allergy to the adhesive too, mine is on the tape of all things!!!Grrrr! Make the tech note that in your file! Next time he finds himself disagreeable he might listen. Hope all is well. PS. Obie might not think he'll live without being held but he will...!

Elizabeth said...

You need to take care of yourself and do what the doctor says! Your life has changed, make a new routine and follow it, young lady.

Hello, NE Bloggers!
Our 1-year anniversary is coming up on Jan 27. To mark the occasion I am going to put up a Mr. Linky on the evening of Monday, January 25. If you'd like to write a post about living in NE, fav places to visit, funny stories and stereotypes, recipes, photos of our gorgeous landscape, anything, it would be great if you would link in. I'd also like a little idea of # of participants, if you could just send me a reply.
Since I don't have emails from everyone, I'm also leaving this message in your comments, sorry for the double-up.

Evansmom said...

This is my first visit to your blog. As a fellow Mainer, I will be back to follow your journey.

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Elenka said...

OMG, Debbie, I just now caught up with your ordeal, I've been so wrapped up in mine! You are very lucky indeed. It really is a big wake-up call and I'm so happy that things have turned out ok, at least at the moment. Good grief.
I'm a little older than you and the older I get the more I realize how fragile life is. We really need to take care of ourselves....big time....and it isn't very easy.
Good luck to you, my friend.

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